Game Review - Afro Samurai (XBOX 360)

4 word review:
button-masher computer cheats.

I don't know much about the intellectual property that the video game is based on, other than the fact that Samuel L. lends his voice to it; which by extension means there will be liberal use of explitives. In that respect, Afro Samurai does not disappoint. "Mother fuck" this, "I aint your gps, bitch" that. The graphics are all right. I understand that Afro Samurai is a cartoon and they have to stay true to the likeness. Having never seen the show I trust that they've been faithful. Nothing really in the game to tax the graphical power of the 360, nothing to blow you away.

This game is repetative. Area opens, cut scene done in a comic-bookesque frame style, bad guys spawn, hack, slash, cut off limbs, head, rinse and repeat. There are boss fights wherein the difficulty gets ramped up. Add to that the fact that the fucking computer is cheap and the game gets a bit "been there, played that."

The saving grace of this game is the soundtrack. Though it says "inspired by the Rza" you can rest assured we're talking Wu-Tang's 36 Chambers, and not Bobby Digital. The beats are addictive, the use of traditional japanense instruments sliced in such a way as to sound like a hip-hop-japanese-samurai fusion is, in the best Samuel L. I can muster, the motherfuckin' shit. It suprises every time, each new level is a new track and everyone is actually good!

Now the ugly. The camera is frenetic and stubborn. There were many times when I would swing the camera around to see what was behind Afro, and seconds later the camera would fight me and say, "look motherfucker, I want you to look this way." Ugh.

As a gamer I hate button combos. Press x,x,x,b,y to do the swooping crane slash. Shit like that is great if done well, if not it's cumbersome and taxing. This is especially true when they offer nothing to the game that enhances the experience when you can just as well press x,x,x,x,x and get through the game without having to press the back button to pull up the in-game move list. Game developers, if you're going to have us memorize button combos, at least make them DO SOMETHING THAT ENHANCES THE GAMEPLAY, and not simply take up valuable brain space that could be used for youtube search phrases and email logins and passwords.

Another sticking point is the focus mode. This is when you press the left trigger and the screen goes black and white, all enemies slow down and you can then charge your vertical or horizontal slash and use the left stick to aim where you want to hit. This sometimes ends in a very satisfying hit that slices off arms/legs/head what have you. Sounds cool right? It is, really. For the first 20 times that is. Then you realize that while you can choose up, down, left or right in terms of where you want to slash, the developers did not think "hey, maybe they'd want to slash the fucks coming up behind Afro!" Yea. No. I guess when they say "focus mode" they mean "tunnel vision".

Also, dying, though infrequent until you reach a boss battles, becomes annoying as you have to wait for the game to load your save point. This is common in most games, but there is simply no variety in Afro Samurai. Just a close up of Afro's face, eyes closed until load is complete, then Samuel L. yelling "AFRO!" then you're tossed back in the fray. Its really, really, really annoying after the 10th time. This is a classic case of less is more.

Now for the bosses. The first few are fine. You can beat them without any issue, any seasoned gamer will "get" what it takes to beat them. The later bosses though... man... fuck them. There is a boss that fires bazooka rounds and Afro has to deflect them back by a move he learns (conveniently) in that stage. I managed to deflect three rounds and I thought it was over. Nope, one more round of bazooka slicing. I tried to do it again, but I just couldn't. I reloaded the boss fight checkpoint at least 10 times, at this point I couldn't even deflect the bazooka shots in the first round. Frustrated, I shut off the xbox, swore profusely and called the game cheap. After a breather I booted it up again and was able to deflect the rounds. At the 4th round where I'd died before, I died yet again. Loaded the check point and then couldn't deflect. FUCKING CHEAP!!!! I vowed never to touch the game again and even thought about snapping the disc in half.

Then there's something called "Body Part Poker". Something about cutting off arms, legs, and heads to create suits. No idea since I don't play poker. It's cool, I suppose. But it's also gimmicky and glitchy. You are only allowed to "play" BPP at pre-programmed points in the game. Once when I was allowed to play BPP I guess I haden't moved far enough in the stage to trigger it and was left with only one enemy. You need 3 to finish a suit. Sucks.

Oh. And Afro can't swim. LAME. What is this? 2001? Why the hell would you go through the trouble of programming water into a game and not allow gamers to swim in it?!

Here's the math.

Graphics - 7/10
Audio - 10/10
Gameplay - 7/10
Level Design - 5/10
Hookability - chocolate covered coffee beans

Last words:

Would not finish. Buy soundtrack