This is a picture of me saying, "Up Yours, York!"

I’ve been at student at York now for four years and am starting to get a little tired of the scene. Being an English major (yes, laugh it up, make your jokes about how I’ll amount to an educated shit head) the marks I receive are subjective and dependant upon how much I kiss ass. I don’t kiss ass, I don’t go and see my TA’s during their office hours to give them that sense of completion that they so badly yearn for by allowing them to tweak my essay topics. I’m confident in my essay writing capabilities, you’re better to come and stomp me physically than to rip on one of my essays. Writing is what I’m about. Yah hurrrrd?

.....Four years. What have I learned? Truthfully? A lot. I’ve learned that in ancient Rome it was A-O-K for an older man to have a younger male student fillet him in exchange for philosophical knowledge, I’ve learned words like “recapitulate” (the long form of “recap”), “inextricable” (a word you never want to hear from a proctologist), and “juxtaposition” (A word so over used that I’ve begun to hate any of its conjugated forms and want to smack the shit out of people for saying it as it is quickly becoming cliché.), I’ve learned about Islam. But of the things that I learned at University, the thing that I am chewing on at the moment is the knowledge that the University is a business like any other business.

.....Just like any other business, York U rapes and cuts corners in the name of the almighty buck. Back in first year they used to mail out grades and lecture schedule, but to “cut down on the use of paper” lecture schedules and grades can now be retrieved online. How convenient. I’d like to meet the genius who said, “Why don’t we NOT send them their marks or provide lecture schedules! It’d make us a nice profit that we could then pocket and buy dildos to stick up each others asses! They don’t need their marks! They’re a tech-savvy bunch.” Contrary to their “saving paper” agenda they do not hesitate to send out, monthly no less, BILLS FOR TUITION.

.....A couple months ago I was riding in the Pathfinder on my way to class when I heard on the radio that the new Argos Stadium will be built on my campus. I swore like a sailor. Why? I was pissed because my school is a whore. From what I remember of the spokesman from York who was blabbering on the radio about the new stadium, he said something like, “With the Rexall center (Tennis stadium), the York U Lions, The Ice Rink, A soccer facility planned for 2008, and now the addition of the new Toronto Argos stadium, this place will be one of the greatest sports complex in the GTA!” I didn’t share his enthusiasm. I saw myself stuck in traffic trying to get to class, fighting with pre-drinking Argo fans for parking while they tail-gate party, and coming out to see all kinds of garbage and shit all over the parking lot when I leave for home. It’s a fucking UNIVERSITY CAMPUS, a place for education. You don’t see U of T welcoming the Raptors into their campus. Why is York such a whore?

.....That doesn’t affect me directly though. Not yet anyway. What really tips my tank is parking. I am at York three days out of the week. I have the option of buying a parking pass for the outer unreserved lots for 1,500 dollars which would cover the whole year; 1,500 dollars plus tax for a parking spot on the outer-fucking-limits of the campus where by the time you get to your class you’ve walked 15 minutes and your balls have retreated to the warmth of your anus. The other option is to do the pay-as-you-park parking. How’s that fair? 9 dollars a day for outer unreserved, a maximum of, I believe, 14 dollars a day for anything closer. That’s IF you can get into the parking structures. It basically comes out to the same as paying for a parking pass. No matter how you park the equation = you paying out the ass.

.....The picture above is where I, and a few other people, park. It’s across from York on Steeles. I’ve only seen some get tickets, but I still haven’t. Hopefully I can still get up there in the New Year. You're welcome to come park, just don’t be an asshole and park where people get up over the curb.