Happy Canada Day!

Don't be fooled by the title of this post as the following post has nothing to do with Canada Day. =) Well... I guess it may, but it isn't exclusively about Canada. It's really about any long weekend.

Yesterday I delivered a puppy. No, not "deliver" in the sense that I have my hand up a dogs fortune cookie. I mean deliver in the fed-ex sense of the word. It's the long weekend, and you know what that means... TRAFFIC FATALITIES. I actually got to see the aftermath of one as well as one at the moment of impact.

I understand the urge to get out of the city, I understand the need to do it quickly... But wtf does passing someone on a one lane highway accomplish when there are still about 15 cars ahead of you? I hate those assholes...

When I was a kid I used to have this fantasy that I could stop time for 30 seconds a day. In that thirty seconds I imagined myself jumping over the counter at Consumers Distributing (you remember those stores where you had to fill out a slip and hand it to the clerk who would disappear into the back and return with your booty like some magic laden genie, don't you?) and finding out what magical inter-dimensional worm hole they kept back there and where I could get one for my closet. I still have that fantasy, but it's degraded to pantsing metrosexuals in the middle of York Lanes to reveal their barbie-ken anatomies, as well as sending asshole drivers on an unavoidable collision course with a mailbox or ditch.

Anyway, to the heart of the matter. Who wants to venture a guess at how many fatalities (not including drownings, which is an entirely different kettle of fish) we'll be tallying up come monday evening? I say 5.

Have a good weekend yall, don't become a stain on the highway. Take your time for fucks sake.

P.S. I'm blogging from my hiptop2 if I spelled shit wrong and you picked it up, ur anal.

P.S.S. Yes this is a shameless ploy to entice reader participation. Humour me.