Seven minutes later...

It's been seven minutes. Why aren't I internet famous yet?! Goddamned fucking bullshittery. I thought I was supposed to have instant access to the world and vice versa! I thought that I would have a voice and that my voice would be heard! I thought that BY NOW I'd have some influence! Why have no supermodels offered to off themselves as a sacrifice to me? Why hasn't Ashton Kutcher stepped out into traffic to get "punk'd" by a Mac truck? Why hasn't Ashlee Simpson gotten that so needed nose job? Why hasn't Sponge George Square Bush stepped down from that cushy seat he's been warming for Hilary these past 4 years?! Why haven't the governments of the world taken my blogg site and made it their official state Religion?! WHY!

I'm just kidding. It's cold outside. I need some friction over here. (You hear me, Supercom worker?)